museworks: (Jaylie)
(A letter, written in a spidery, uneven hand in contrast with the almost childlike script otherwise in the journal, is pasted to a page.)

Dearest Jaylie,

First, let me apologize. For everything.

I am sorry I never seemed to care in life; that you always were second, or third, or worse to everything else holding my attention. I am sorry that I used to believe I never wanted a daughter in the first place. I am sorry for mistreating you some of the few times you saw me, and for damaging the hope I knew you had that each visit might be different.

I am sorry for disappointing you; or perhaps myself. I know you accepted me as I am now, but I am sorry it could not have been as I was.

I am sorry it took dying, and the horrors afterward, for me to eventually realize one of the greatest losses I had. I know it was not entirely my own doing, but I am sorry for all I missed in your life, and for not caring about what I did see.

Most of all, I am sorry for what is another disappointment for you: for leaving you again. I do not want you to see what I truly am. I know you accepted me in my current state of being as a death knight. You accepted me despite how I had been in life, and the atrocities you knew I committed before being freed of the Lich King's hold. You did not ignore them, but you said it was in the past and that it was silly to believe one could change the past because what happened had happened, and even dragons cannot completely control that. You believe yourself to be simple and unintelligent, but perhaps you are wiser than you realize.

I do not want you to see what I am, as I said. I try to redirect this…compulsion…in my mind, that lingers despite being given free will once more, but even that is difficult. I want you to remember me from our all-too-brief time together after my death; I want you to remember the first time we truly fought side-by-side, and how you taught me to better wield my blade. Remember that-- you taught me, because you are an incredibly skilled and accomplished warrior. You spoke of wanting to be a Sentinel someday; to me you are better than they are, even, and I believe you deserve more from life than to spend your days guarding cities and towns. Remember the way you embraced me after I first told you of that compulsion, or at least the surface details of it. You gave me a hug, even though my very being surely chilled you to the bone physically, and told me you believed I could turn it to better use, that I could take a bad thing and make good things come of it.

Please remember me like that, and forgive me for leaving you. For being yet another one who vanishes from your life. None of it is your fault, and I hope you never believe it to be. You are my daughter, and I love you.

- Athiras


----

So hes gone too now. I dont understand why everyone leaves me. I wish I knew why and what I do to drive people away. Im lonely. Im afraid to find Mother because what if she leaves too?
museworks: (Jaylie)
I lost my jurnal so Im writing in a new one. Ive been practising my Common and I think Im much better thogh its been a while since I last wrote in Common. I know Ive forgoten some spelling but remember others. I will practise.

I have been exploring new places thogh! I got to see Mount Hyjal and it was amazing. Father didnt go but I understand I bet it hurts to remember who he used to be. But he was with me in (I know this is spelled wrong) Vashir. The sea place. It was realy intresting seeing the naga battle-maiden's story. I know there our enemies but I wish I could meet the battle-maiden.

The temple in Darnassus told me Mother has been leaving more often and taking longer trips. She hasnt been out of Darnassus since it was built after Teldrassil grew. I know that isnt long to our people but it is still diffrent to leave even to go to other alliance cities nowdays. I am worried about her even thogh Father said she is too contrary to die. I think he wanted to say some thing else that wasnt nice but didnt for my sake. Im not sure what he means by shes too contrary but its a comfort. I will try to keep an eye on her.

I am still lonly even thogh I travel sometimes with Father. I dont feel like I have any freinds any more. But I try to smile at people because maybe some one will be a freind and I dont know it yet.

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museworks

July 2011

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