Jul. 4th, 2011

museworks: (Default)
Last night I dreamt that I was getting together with a few people from here/Twitter-- the only ones I actually remember namewise were [livejournal.com profile] aliceinazeroth, [livejournal.com profile] alaias_stories, and [livejournal.com profile] lohendrin-- IRL and we were forming the real life Gilneas Knitting Circle and Tea-rrorist Society. We weren't the only ones, but as I said, I only remember those names, and the faces with the names in my dream weren't really defined as I obviously don't know what those lovely ladies look like!

But we were having a get-together at my home, and I was fretting about there being enough seating and enough mini-sandwiches for everyone. Chris had absented himself for this, saying he'd found a new route to take when walking to the library that went through the "Ottawa Animal Preserve" (which does not exist in reality, btw), so he was going to go look at the bison to see if there was a white one.

I don't remember many details of what the group plotted, other than discussing yarn-bombing Ottawa and Gilneas (which apparently was just outside Ottawa in my dream), and that the phrase "Knits or GTFO" kept coming up. I think that'd make a pretty awesome t-shirt, or at least userpic...
museworks: (Alinor)
Why why WHY do I let her get under my skin like that. I grew up with her, I should know better. I know her, I started calling her "Mal" not because her name is Malinde but because she is malicious. But she somehow knows the exact thing to say to get to me, and she knows how to say it in the most perfectly defensible ways. She says it and Leania calls her on it but she pretends to have been only 'concerned'. At least she doesn't pretend to be concerned as a sister, just for the family name.

I still have a hard time ignoring what she says, and I usually fail at that. What might have been a nice dinner with my family was ended too soon because I couldn't handle it. Especially when I happened to see Lohendrin giving her a slight smile. Now I know what that was about, but at the time it hit the wrong note and just…I almost lost it.

I did lose it when we got home-- my home, anyhow. I didn't want Lohen to see me like that. I hate crying, and I especially hate crying in front of others; it was even worse in front of him, because he has a lot worse to worry about. He went through worse. I didn't really have the right to cry about just some words, but I couldn't help it.

I know I should be grateful that it was sheer dumb luck that put my family out at Sunstrider Isle when the Scourge attacked; I know I'm lucky to still have a family, when some have lost all they held dear. Lohen only has Marbas, and he's only known his twin for a short period of time. They don't really know where their father is. Other people lost everyone, but by the Sunwell, I wish my older sister did not exist, period. And I feel terrible for wishing that. But I do.

At least he was comforting.

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