I may be overthinking this
Jun. 22nd, 2011 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
museworksLohen said those "three little words" tonight, just easily slipped them into conversation; he said them before closing his own Tome because his guild needed his presence tonight for another combat assignment. Almost casual, like one might say to one's longtime spouse or some such-- "No time to talk, I love you, I'll see you later."
Naturally, being the sort I am, I started to think about it, and think, and think. Lohendrin and I really haven't known each other that long; maybe few weeks, even if we've had many conversations and have been around each other a lot when duties don't call us elsewhere. That's still a short period of time, even if some folks out there declare love within hours of meeting someone. People are different, though, and I'm still very new to this. I don't know how I feel exactly. I don't know if he's hurt that I haven't said it back-- I hope not! I don't think he is, because he said I'm worth waiting for, so maybe he's fine with giving me more time to think.
I've never been in love before, and I tend to overanalyze things. I don't know how one knows for certain one is in love, because sometimes even a rational mind can't entirely tell what's real and what's overly-romanticized in fiction. There's no feeling of earth moving beneath my feet (apart from things a shaman would tend to), there's no painful yearning, none of that sort of thing (that seems like nonsense anyhow). But I do like being around him more than being alone, and for me that's really quite peculiar. I still look forward to his words in the Book every day. I like cooking for him, and rubbing healing stuff on his bruises (as they aren't bad enough, really, to warrant use of Holy energy to heal).
I think the best option right now is to wait and see how things progress. How I feel as time goes on. He said he's willing to wait for me, so I do hope that includes saying those words, not just waiting for the right time to decide we want to go to bed together. (Not at that point, either. Not that I haven't thought about it, especially with the aforementioned tending of his bruises.)
I'm not really a patient sort, but I think I have to make myself be patient here instead of jumping in with both feet. He's worth it, too. Besides, I want Calleo to lose money on his bet, whatever it is. Heh heh.
Naturally, being the sort I am, I started to think about it, and think, and think. Lohendrin and I really haven't known each other that long; maybe few weeks, even if we've had many conversations and have been around each other a lot when duties don't call us elsewhere. That's still a short period of time, even if some folks out there declare love within hours of meeting someone. People are different, though, and I'm still very new to this. I don't know how I feel exactly. I don't know if he's hurt that I haven't said it back-- I hope not! I don't think he is, because he said I'm worth waiting for, so maybe he's fine with giving me more time to think.
I've never been in love before, and I tend to overanalyze things. I don't know how one knows for certain one is in love, because sometimes even a rational mind can't entirely tell what's real and what's overly-romanticized in fiction. There's no feeling of earth moving beneath my feet (apart from things a shaman would tend to), there's no painful yearning, none of that sort of thing (that seems like nonsense anyhow). But I do like being around him more than being alone, and for me that's really quite peculiar. I still look forward to his words in the Book every day. I like cooking for him, and rubbing healing stuff on his bruises (as they aren't bad enough, really, to warrant use of Holy energy to heal).
I think the best option right now is to wait and see how things progress. How I feel as time goes on. He said he's willing to wait for me, so I do hope that includes saying those words, not just waiting for the right time to decide we want to go to bed together. (Not at that point, either. Not that I haven't thought about it, especially with the aforementioned tending of his bruises.)
I'm not really a patient sort, but I think I have to make myself be patient here instead of jumping in with both feet. He's worth it, too. Besides, I want Calleo to lose money on his bet, whatever it is. Heh heh.
