Mind-boggling.

There is a woman in the tome who is apparently being kept under lock and key by a warden of some kind. Presumably "for her own good," and she likes it.

I don't understand it. Fortunately I learned early that it's best to steel myself before opening the tome to read, so that I'm prepared for things like that. It's still difficult to read, and difficult to tell myself that it is possible she's truly happy, but at least I was ready.

I have not participated in much conversation there, but I'm trying. It's harder some days than others. But I'm trying.

I am a happy elf.

It's been a few days since I wrote my thoughts down! Those few days have been very nice. I spent a day with Lohendrin at his home; we didn't really do much beyond our own projects, his with his jewelcrafting and I had brought a couple of my own smaller projects with me to tinker on a spare table there. It was really nice. We didn't talk much, just enjoyed each other's presence while doing our own thing. Didn't need to talk; I don't know exactly how he was feeling, but for me it was enough to just know he was there nearby. Comfortable silence, one would call it. Sometimes I'd look over at him while he was bent over his desk with his jewelcrafter glasses-- I love how he looks in those! But I love how he looks in anything, except maybe bloodied bandages and bruises-- and I could feel myself smiling a little.

I also now know Lohen is very ticklish. Heheh.

Anyway, yes. We spend a lot of time together, but most of the time I do go home at night. We like our time apart as well, right now. And I don't want to intrude on Lohen and Marbas having their own brotherly bonding time, because I do know they're still getting to know each other better. I'm glad Marbas seems to like me, though; family approval is a bit important. To a point. I know Leania will like Lohendrin, there's no question there. I think Father will. And I'm mostly unconcerned about Mother, and I certainly don't care about Malinde beyond being prepared for her to try and charm him.

HAHA. Like it'd work. I wouldn't be with Lohen if I didn't trust him.

That's kind of a weird and scary thought, though. I trust him, but it's like...crossing a dubious bridge over a deep chasm. You aren't entirely sure if the bridge will hold, and you haven't seen what's on the other side so you're moving blindly into the future, and you don't know what's at the bottom if the bridge breaks. Rocks, or crocolisks, or deep water. But you cross it because you want to see what's on the other side, and you want to go forward despite being scared because the risk is worth it.

Lohen's worth it, and I like to believe he thinks I am.

Today he's gone, Skruffy issued a call to arms for his guild. They're going to the Firelands...the Cenarion Circle (I assume it's them) are pushing forward in an assault on Ragnaros' domain. I knew worrying would be a natural part of becoming involved with him, but I worry for him. I'm going to distract myself with Mim, because Lohen left the keys for me. Marbas is probably coming along for a spin in Mim, told him I can do tricks with it that Lohen can't. Heh. But still, there's that worry that he won't come home.

I know he's a good medic. He's a talented healer, and from what I understand his particular regiment is very capable. So, I'm going to trust that he'll keep his promise to return.

A garden for Lucy.

When I was a little girl I tried to grow flowers. I didn't ask anyone for help, and I didn't do any research on how to grow them. I picked them and put them in my own flowerpots to try and grow. It didn't occur to me the first time that it might have been better to be sure I picked them with roots intact, and my flowers quickly wilted away. The next ones I picked I did keep the roots intact, but they still died off because I still didn't know how to properly care for them. And I still didn't ask, because I knew my parents would tell me little girls didn't play in the dirt unless they were commoners, and I could not ask a servant for help because that too was "something commoners did."

The more I think about it now the more the thought of such a thing is still appealing. I am uncertain as to the logistics of maintaining a garden when I move about as I do and don't maintain a steady home, but perhaps I could find assistance somehow. There is a peculiar-- though he seems nice enough-- man in the tome who gardens for a living, and is sending me seeds for some hardier varieties of flower. I believed there was no harm in having him send them to me in Orgrimmar, a general delivery to my name.

I like the idea of spending time in the sun to grow something. If I were a more poetic soul perhaps I would think of reasons for it being appropriate. Symbolic or some other such. Maybe. I don't know.

Maybe I want to keep a small part of me for something other than vengeance or killing, now that I've seen my brother again.

Plants.

The peculiar gardener from the tome sent me peacebloom seeds, a bag of dirt, and a metal pot. I honestly wasn't expecting it so soon. I also only expected seeds. I am not complaining, though; I wrote him a private note of thanks in the tome. I appreciate all of it. His letter was odd and rambling but I understood it. I didn't mind the extra information anyhow. I enjoyed reading it. I never thought about the soil from Draenor being that different in composition but I suppose it makes sense. The ore I'd mined was certainly different.

I will try to find a decent place to grow them and be sure they're tended. Perhaps I should establish a home of some kind. I shouldn't run anyhow. I told the gardener that a moving target is harder to hit and it is true, but maybe I want him-- them-- to try.

In the meantime I will try to grow this peacebloom. I hope it survives.