museworks: (Alinor)
[personal profile] museworks
I've been going to the Firelands to help the general war effort there. I'm not on the front lines like Lohen and his guild, but they need help otherwise. Someone to help fight the swarm, help others who fall, etcetera. I'm a good support fighter. Not a shining hero but background support. I've grown to accept that fact, that I'll never get a parade or be hailed as a hero for anything. And I don't go into battle expecting it anyhow; it's one of those things that'd be nice but when all's said and done, I want to help because I want to help. I like knowing I helped things even a little for the greater good. And I don't really think I like the direction the Horde's going so I like helping neutral factions.

Sometimes when thinking about the greater enemies that face us-- Ragnaros and his lieutenants, that sort, the Big Bads-- it's almost easy to forget that the minions, the smaller ones sent out in greater number, are just as dangerous. Especially when one finds oneself surrounded, like I did.

I was just trying to help a fallen Protector; I had some of that emergency salve that one of the healers had given me for that purpose, that'd patch the wounded up just long enough and just good enough for them to make it back behind friendly lines and get actual tending. I think he managed to make it back, I haven't gotten confirmation, but I ended up getting in a little over my head. Two, even three elementals I can handle alone; if I were stronger in my ice spells I would have less trouble, but I was fighting fire with fire. Even if arcane fire seems to affect fire elementals as much as any other spell, it still relies on my ability to burn things down before they can get to me, and…well, when there are multiple enemies it's a little harder. Plus even with it being arcane-based fire, they take longer to die when not blasted directly.

Had two of the smaller ones at me, and a couple of imps popped up a bit away to lob fireballs at me. Those were dispatched, and I was fighting the two elementals. Then up popped one of the revenant-looking ones; they take longer to die, but in a pinch I could possibly get away, and was readying my invisibility spell…when a firecat hit me from behind. One of those druids of the flame. Probably a good thing that all I remember after that was that things were going to really, really hurt.

Next thing I know I'm being picked up and put on a stretcher. I couldn't go anywhere on my own, certainly, everything was a huge ball of horrendous pain. I only even vaguely remember being picked up, and only because there was a definite sort of relief that I wasn't going to be just abandoned as a lost cause. I wanted to pass out, it hurt so badly, but I couldn't. I could just lay there in a daze. I swear, every heartbeat made it hurt all the more. I don't know how I looked but I understand it was bad enough that Lohendrin-- my Lohen, who had been looking for me among the injured anyway, and who would have wanted to do everything possible for me I know-- said he'd had to make the difficult decision as a field medic to classify me as "red". Which meant that even he wasn't sure I could be saved or that he could justify extreme effort for me in such uncertainty when others would do better with immediate care.

I understood, and I don't know, maybe it oddly made me love and respect him more. Healers have an unpleasant task, more than those like me who fight, or even those who defend. We might feel our failure means others die, but that happens behind us. Healers are the ones who actually watch the dying. They hold someone's hand as life slips away and they know there was nothing more they could have done. I don't know how that must feel, especially if one starts thinking about the what-ifs. What if they had managed to see them sooner? What if they'd tried this medicine or poultice instead of that? Any of it. And then to see one's own loved one…I think I understand why most refrain from treating their own except in direct combat situations. It'd be too easy to spend too much time at their bedside in the medical ward instead of tending other duties. To spend too much energy on one person when it could be spread out among many and save more.

Lohendrin definitely has my respect for all he does as a healer. From what I understand, that sort of respect was far too lacking for him before. I don't know all the details-- I think it's hard for him to speak of it, and I'm not going to pressure him beyond what he's ready to share-- but it seems like the sort of thing that I'd seen occasionally with others, in the past. You get so used to having that support that you take it for granted, or even come to feel like you're entitled to it, and that the support is at your beck and call. Some of the more defender sorts slip into that mindset, especially when dealing with people like me who make with the damage. But it's worse when you take the person keeping you alive for granted. I won't ever take Lohen for granted. I don't know that I could.

I'm still amazed that I'm with him in the first place, to be honest.

But I digress. I am a fried mage. And I need to get a new enchanted robe, because they had to cut mine from me upon rescuing me. I know Lohen went beyond what he was supposed to have done, and was in danger of over-exertion. But he did it anyway. He's the reason I can write in here now, or write in the Book. I've been healed by the Light before, but this was something completely new to me-- and it HURT. Just briefly, and a different pain from what I'd suffered from the elementals and druid, but one moment he's putting his hands right on a burned spot, the next few are a mess of ohdearsunwellthatHURTS thoughts with each 'pulse', plus Lohen glowing pretty blindingly, and then…it was significantly better.

Oh, it still hurt; only the lightest burns were gone, and the worst were mending (a dubious joy, because some of them went from so bad I didn't feel anything to wondering why the creators decided to put so many freaking nerve endings in that area because PAIN). There's probably going to be some nasty scarring on my back, thanks to the fire-cat's mauling. But I was apparently pretty close to being lost, and he was having none of it.

Now I'm staying at his place, which has been interesting. I like this whole being waited on thing, though I think I could do without the being crispy part. It still hurts, but Lohen's a skilled alchemist. He's made potions that help me sleep, dull the pain a bit, dull the pain AND help me sleep, and so forth. He says sleep is one of the things that will help me most with continuing to heal. He changes my bandages, cleans the wounds, even draws cool baths for me to soak in. I really have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I'm really, really grateful I have him.

Yesterday I overheard part of an argument between him and Marbas. I noted in the Book that the downside of dating one of a pair of identical twins is that when I can't directly hear or see them, and especially when I only hear pieces of the conversation, I can't tell the voices apart. This brought a most scandalous exclamation from one of the people on my list whose comments are transcribed, and now I have the most inappropriate imaginings. They're also kind of hot. No, really hot. And that is bad. Thankfully Lohendrin didn't see that comment, and as far as I know neither did Marbas. The former would be fainting, the latter would be himself. Which is to say, incorrigible (at the very least).

ANYWAY, ARGUMENT. Apparently Marbas brought home a corehound puppy to keep as a pet. Lohen was less than amused. Last I heard, there was sort of a scorchy puddle in the middle of the carpet and Loh dumped the carpet in Marbas' room. Haven't heard more of the puppy, but the thought is really…weird. I think I prefer my mechanical and non-pooping elemental pets.

Lohen made me breakfast, so I suppose that's my cue to wrap this up. He's too good to me. Too good FOR me. But I'm happy to have him.
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July 2011

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